Executive Order Forces Layoffs

President Trump signed an executive order today forcing journalists in several major news organizations to write unverified partisan drivel in order to force them to lay off journalists.

"This administration cannot call out fake news without fake news." said the President. "Without fake news our narrative simply falls apart."

The executive order forced otherwise legitimate news organizations like BuzzFeed, HuffPost and Gannett to lay off approximately 1000 people according to an unnamed source. The affected writers cried and screamed, but sufficient revenue did not magically appear to save their jobs.

"This is not America." claimed a journalist for Gannett who wished to remain anonymous. "The President knew customers would not want to purchase advertisement space from untruthful media organizations. It's his fault that I'm out of a job. I guess I'll have to generate content for coloring books."

"We're being told to learn to code." claimed a second laid off writer for Gannett. "That might work for coal miners who lost their jobs, but learning to code would require effort on our part. That is not a permanent solution for us, and we deserve better."

Briefly an email appeared in one of HuffPost's sales' accounts inquiring about advertising space, but the customer turned out to be Chick-fil-A, a known Nazi sympathizer. Forced to contemplate keeping the affected writers on the payroll by accepting the advertising revenue from Chick-fil-a, Huffpost deleted the inquiry.

In a final effort to salvage anything one laid off journalist started a hash tag to save their blue verified checkmark on Twitter.