Former Mayor #MeToo'ed by Kamala Harris

Democrat Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris accused former mayor of San Francisco Willie Brown of sexual harassment today; Harris claimed the former speaker of the California State Assembly would grant her political appointments in exchange for dates.

Harris, a former holder of a position on the Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board of California, failed to produce any evidence to back up her claim.

"I may be a former attorney general for the city of San Francisco and a senator from the state of California, but he ruined my life.  The people of California do not require evidence for things like this." said Harris to an anonymous source.  "His life should be ruined for what he did to me.  All women should be believed regardless of past proven false statements."

Brown admitted the two dated in an article from the San Francisco Chronicle on January 27th 2019.

"I'm not in politics anymore.  Bringing this up now accomplishes nothing for her." said Brown in an interview with an anonymous source.  "I wish her luck in her upcoming presidential run.  She will need it."

Executive Order Forces Layoffs

President Trump signed an executive order today forcing journalists in several major news organizations to write unverified partisan drivel in order to force them to lay off journalists.

"This administration cannot call out fake news without fake news." said the President. "Without fake news our narrative simply falls apart."

The executive order forced otherwise legitimate news organizations like BuzzFeed, HuffPost and Gannett to lay off approximately 1000 people according to an unnamed source. The affected writers cried and screamed, but sufficient revenue did not magically appear to save their jobs.

"This is not America." claimed a journalist for Gannett who wished to remain anonymous. "The President knew customers would not want to purchase advertisement space from untruthful media organizations. It's his fault that I'm out of a job. I guess I'll have to generate content for coloring books."

"We're being told to learn to code." claimed a second laid off writer for Gannett. "That might work for coal miners who lost their jobs, but learning to code would require effort on our part. That is not a permanent solution for us, and we deserve better."

Briefly an email appeared in one of HuffPost's sales' accounts inquiring about advertising space, but the customer turned out to be Chick-fil-A, a known Nazi sympathizer. Forced to contemplate keeping the affected writers on the payroll by accepting the advertising revenue from Chick-fil-a, Huffpost deleted the inquiry.

In a final effort to salvage anything one laid off journalist started a hash tag to save their blue verified checkmark on Twitter.

Hitler Youth return with President Trump from 1944

President Trump returned from the past with a group of Hitler Youth earlier today.  The President praised the group's willingness to return with him to 2019 where they can serve as ambassadors from the Third Reich.

"These young men will help improve relations between our youth and our allies.  They represent a huge bridge between the past and the present" said the President.  "The time is now to invest in this huge bridge, and will totally make the future better for years to come."

According to an anonymous source the youth visited the Lincoln Memorial in Washington.  They met up with the Black Hebrew Israelites while they bravely protested Nazis and decided to take them out.  The youth donned their MAGA caps began to descend upon the Black Hebrew Israelites in order to shut down their protest.

A group of proud indigenous people came to the aid of the Black Hebrew Israelites but were quickly subdued.  First responders arrived at the scene to tend to the many brave, wounded protesters. 

"What are you talking about?  We're responding to a fight with several people in need of medical attention, but I don't see anyone here." said one of the first responders when asked if the families had been notified.
"Seems like a prank to me" said a second.

Introduction

I enjoy writing, and I would like to find a way to generate some revenue with writing.  I started my journey by attending various local events, researching the things people say to confirm facts, and writing an article that accurately describes what I had seen, heard, and read regarding the local events.

This observe-research-write cycle for money sounded good, but I quickly found out that what you write should be correct.  People don't like to read untrue things; people like to stay informed by reading news full of truth and facts.  My dream began fading as I realized I will not be able to write for a living.  Dark times ensued.

Then I began reading Buzzfeed.  Buzzfeed presented news without research and without facts.  People read Buzzfeed to stay informed and did not seem to mind being mislead.  My dream roared back into reality!  If Buzzfeed writers can earn a living writing news without facts and research, I knew I could do the same!

If I write enough on this blog I might be noticed by Buzzfeed and, with enough hard work, be able to earn a living through writing.